<html>

<head>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Language" content="en-us">
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 4.0">
<meta name="ProgId" content="FrontPage.Editor.Document">
<title>'Contradictions' in Star Trek?</title>
</head>

<body>

<p align="center"><img border="0" SRC="pics/trektonics.gif" width="403" height="53"></p>
<p align="center"><font size="4"><i><font face="rockwell extra bold">Are There
Really Any Contradictions in Star Trek?</font></i><b><br>
</b><font face="Times New Roman">Bob Turkey</font></font></p>
<hr width="60%">
<p align="center"><font size="4">Last updated June 12, 2003</font></p>
<hr>
<p><font size="4">It has recently come to my attention that a certain group of
uninformed amateur film critics have been spreading misinformation about Star
Trek containing numerous &quot;plot holes and contradictions&quot;, which they
deem &quot;nits&quot;. This article is intended to demonstrate that such
accusations are groundless and only intended to preach to the choir of the
lowest common denominator skeptics, the ones who seek out plot holes in the most
trivial details and argue that this somehow proves Star Trek is mere fiction.</font></p>
<p><font size="4">The article I'm critiquing can be found somewhere or other.
No, I'm not telling you where it is unless the author embarrasses me in public.
Quoted sections are in yellow tables, with applicable responses below them.</font></p>
<hr>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">At one point in &quot;Devil in
        the Dark,&quot; Kirk says to Spock, &quot;You go right. I'll go
        left,&quot; <b>except that he points right when he says &quot;left&quot;
        and points left when he says &quot;right.&quot;</b> Happens to the best
        of them.</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">This is the first plot hole mentioned, and immediately belays
the author's ignorance of the rich Star Trek universe. As any <a HREF="../../../kidshealth.org/kid/body/eye_noSW_p3.html">entry-level
biology textbook</a> will tell you, the human eye receives an inverted
(upside-down) signal that the brain is then forced to compensate for. Similarly,
the eyes of many species in the galaxy have <i>left-right reversal of vision</i>,
which, from their point of view, would account for this seeming discrepancy. His
ethnocentric opinions of how other species should view the world around them are
altogether arrogant.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;In the scene where Picard
        and the others are transported into the courtroom [in &quot;Encounter at
        Farpoint&quot;], Q appears and Data says, 'At least <b>we're</b>
        acquainted with the judge.' I jumped three feet above my sofa. '<b>We're</b>?'
        Well, well, well. <b>Seems that Data unlearned how to do contractions
        after the pilot</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Yes, folks. This skeptical individual is actually wondering
that strange things happen in the presence of an entity, such as the Q, capable
of altering fundamental constants of the universe on a whim. Nothing more needs
to be said here.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">When Data is speaking with
        Admiral McCoy, he says, <b>'I'm </b>an android.' (major error) When
        Riker is first viewing the record of Q's visit, when he turns from it <b>the
        special effects guys forgot to fill in where his shoulder was and the
        actual screen can be seen</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Gee, let's see--&quot;I am&quot; vs. &quot;I'm&quot;. A
sufficiently brisk pronunciation could readily account for the appearance of
Data using a contraction. Why do these bozos always pick the most inane examples
in vain attempts to stroke their ego?</font></p>
<p><font size="4">&quot;Special effects guy&quot;? Is this person really under
the impression that Star Trek is <i>mere fiction</i>? Unfortunately, the epic
adventures of the Enterprise gang were recorded on primitive magnetic media to
facilitate human viewing. This leads to many optical illusions, film defects,
double-exposure and other problems that can account for this seeming boo-boo. Of
course, had DVD technology already been widespread, we wouldn't be having this
particular discussion.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Data graduated from the
        Academy in 2345. In 'Conundrum,' Data's bio screen listed that he
        entered the Academy in 2341. 'The First Duty' established the Academy as
        a four year institution. The <b>remark [that Data makes on the holodeck
        stating that he graduated with the class of '78] is wrong</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">This individual again shows his basic lack of knowledge, this
time ignoring the calendar used by the United Federation of Planets. At this
rate, we'll soon be seeing the uninformed arguing that since the ancient Mayan
calendar isn't in tune with the Gregorian, one of them is wrong! Federation
stardates take the form 00112.2, such as 37801.5 (Data's presumed graduation
date, if you'll pardon the pun). Once again, we see that referring to it as the
&quot;class of '78&quot; is only wrong if you <i>don't</i> already believe Star
Trek is inerrant!</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Captain Picard tells Yar
        to rig main phasers into an energy beam and lock it onto Farpoint
        station. But when the beam is engaged, <b>it is coming from the
        captain's yacht on the bottom of the [saucer section] not the phaser
        banks</b>&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">If this person had done his homework, he would have known that
the saucer section, <a HREF="../../../starships.virtualave.net/galaxy/galaxy_specs.htm">as
shown in these schematics</a>, contains TWO phaser banks. A Galaxy Class
starship would certainly be a waste of resources if it couldn't even shoot craft
below it! How dumb does he think Federation engineers are?</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;As a friend pointed out,
        during the saucer separation sequences in Encounter at Farpoint and
        Arsenal of Freedom, the stars indicate that the ship was going at warp.
        But the saucer has no warp drive. <b>After the separation it should have
        immediately [dropped] to impulse</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">What laws of physics is this person using?? Has he even heard
of the <a HREF="../../../www.grc.nasa.gov/WWW/K-12/airplane/conmo.html">Law of
Conservation of Momentum</a>? In case he got his physics lessons from
&quot;Science for Dummies, 3rd Edition&quot;, <img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15">
an outside force is needed for change in velocity. Since subspace contains no
dust particles or cosmic debris to cause friction, you could hypothetically
attain any speed and then maintain it indefinitely.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">Dr. Crusher says, 'send it to
        the starship, charged to Dr. Crusher,' when referring to a bolt of cloth
        she finds at a merchant shop. Huh? <b>I've never seen any Starfleet
        officer paid, nothing seems to cost anything on the Enterprise, and how
        could you have money in a society in which virtually anything can be
        created via replicators</b>?&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Looking at the universe through rose-colored Federation
glasses again, are we? Although nothing in Terran society seems to involve money
by the 24th century, others, like the Ferengi, have fertile trade industries.
Moreover, intellectual property laws are still maintained, so replicating an
evening gown without due compensation would be illegal. One needs only look at
the counterfeit clothing industry to understand why. This poses no problem when
human inhabitants are happy to have their work enjoyed for free, but other
societies are not as utopian.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;The Enterprise is being
        pursued by Q. Prior to the saucer separation, Picard orders a salvo of
        torpedoes to be fired (from the rearward Photon tubes). Eight torpedoes
        are fired, but when you count the detonations<b> there are only five</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">I think the writer of this particular tidbit should get a
high-resolution TV set instead of that 1940's black and white model Granny left
him in her will. <img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15"> It's
clear that several shots can converge to produce the effect of one explosion
when you don't look carefully enough. And if a new TV doesn't fix the problem,
you have to remember that the original copies of Star Trek, recorded on
holographic optical media that contained no errors, are unviewable with our
backwards technology.&nbsp;</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Another example of Data
        using contactions is where Data says to Riker, 'I <b>can't </b>see as
        well as Geordi . . . .'&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Has it occurred to our resident skeptic that &quot;can't&quot;
and &quot;cannot&quot; are errors an AI program like the Universal Translator
could easily introduce into the films? He doesn't really think people still
speak 20th Century English in the 24th, does he??</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Q takes Picard, Troi,
        Data and Yar to stand trial for the crimes of humanity. Why then, is
        Data, an android, included in the group? It makes some sense that Troi
        be included, being half human, <b>but Data has no human DNA. He has no
        DNA, period!&quot;</b></font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Data is an offshoot of humanity, what could be considered an
artificial human. By that logic, would in-vitro fertilized humans also be
unaccountable for the crimes of their forefathers??</font></p>
<p><font size="4">Human society has always recognized this not to be the case,
as any of a number of competing creation myths can show you. What's next - he'll
be saying that Adam and Eve eating a magical fruit <i>isn't</i> grounds enough
to condemn all their descendants to a fiery death? <img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15"></font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Riker beams aboard the
        Enterprise and is greeted by Yar in the transporter room. From here, Yar
        turns to lead him out of the transporter room and into the hall. When
        the door opens, we see a blue uniformed crewmember standing in the
        hallway. Yar enters the hall and a red uniformed crewmember passes by
        the door. As Riker enters the hall, the blue uniformed crewmember start
        walking behind him. Make you think that she missed her cue and started
        walking a bit late. Anyhow, Riker exits the scene behind a wall and the
        camera position changes to just down the hall from them. We see Yar and
        Riker, <b>but the two crewmembers have vanished</b>!&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">You'd think this would actually be impressive if the two crew
members who &quot;vanished&quot; didn't have shore leave that let them disembark
to the planet below. They merely called to be transported down while the camera
was on Riker and Yar. Of course, as Arthur C. Clarke once wrote, &quot;Any
sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.&quot; Heh.
&quot;Vanished&quot;, indeed.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Look very closely at the
        circular stained-glass window in Groppler Zorn's office (The best time
        to look is during Part II, just before the window is blown out during
        the alien assault.) The colored pattern on the window <b>spells out
        Zorn's name, in English, no less</b>!&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">You know this article is bottom-of-the-barrel when our author
isn't even familiar with <a HREF="../../../skepdic.com/pareidol.html">pareidolia</a>.
Out of all the chapters of Star Trek in existence, it's almost guaranteed that
strange things like patterns arising from cracks in the glass will be found by
people looking to nitpick every minor detail! Perhaps, soon, he'll be telling us
he can see Mohammed's name in a tortilla.<img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15"></font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;At one point, Picard
        orders that all communication be stopped and use only hard copy
        printouts. But when he records a log, <b>he taps his combadge and starts
        talking</b>. The worst part of this is not that he is using a radio but
        he is summarizing everything that's going on. Not exactly a great time
        for him to <b>go against his own orders</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">And where, exactly, did he &quot;go against his own
orders&quot;? Does our skeptic expect him to replicate a goose feather and ink
bottle and start scratching out a &quot;hard copy&quot;?</font></p>
<p><font size="4">Even with our primitive technology, speech recognition is
already a big industry. The computer must have been recognizing his spoken words
on-the-fly and printing them out behind the scenes.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;[In the holodeck], Data
        throws a rock at the wall. It hits the wall and the image of green
        plants temporarily blurs into squares. <b>Shouldn't the holodeck
        dissolve the rock and show a picture of the rock landing on the ground</b>?&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Shouldn't boats never capsize? Shouldn't computers never
crash? Shouldn't cars never refuse to start? The inventive minds who designed
the holodeck were still only human, after all. Everything simulated in the
holodeck has real weight and mass, as evidenced by the numerous chapters were it
malfunctioned and started killing people. The ability of a rock to temporarily
disrupt the holographic walls may be an oversight on the part of the engineers,
but it's no real problem in the veracity of Star Trek.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;When the viewscreen
        replays what had happened on the way to Farside for Riker, <b>why didn't
        he see Troi</b>? She and Tasha, Picard and Data should have figured
        prominently in the logs. <b>But Riker is shocked to see her on the
        Enterprise</b> at the beginning of part 2.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">The replays were obviously meant for different purposes and
audiences, as anyone with the most basic familiarity of the underlying themes
would understand. Little unimportant details like &quot;Troi was there&quot; or
&quot;Picard almost died on that away mission&quot; or &quot;Florida was just
assimilated by the Borg&quot; need not be included in <i>every</i> replay - this
is no inconsistency, and the allegedly differing accounts only complement each
other when taken together.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;When Troi, Yar and La
        Forge are under Farpoint, Riker is contacted by Yar. La Forge and Troi
        join the conversation. La Forge and Troi <b>both tap their communicators
        to talk</b> to Riker when Yar had already opened a channel to him. Yet,
        on the alien ship <b>after Riker opens a channel to Picard, Troi can be
        heard on the Enterprise without tapping her badge</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">As any aficionado of the series should know, combadge signal
strength varies with environment and atmospheric conditions. While the alien
ship was much closer to the Enterprise and had only a thin layer of air inside,
the planet contained a highly ionized atmosphere and was much farther away.
That's probably the reason why both La Forge and Troi needed to activate their
communicators, boosting the signal to compensate.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">The Naked Now</font>
        <p><font size="4">&quot;Just before the star collapses, the Enterprise
        is seen, in orbit, hovering over the Tsiolkovsky. But in the next scene,
        the star collapses <b>and the Enterprise is 15 minutes away</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Has it occurred to this (not exceptionally bright) fellow that
not every minute scene need be recounted for the message the series presents to
be perfectly valid? Of course not. It's self-evident that there was a 15-minute
gap on the record between the time the Enterprise was orbiting and the time it
was far away.&nbsp; I'll shortly be expecting his complaint that the bathroom
scenes are also omitted. <img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15"></font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Data calls up the record
        for the original instance of the water problem on the first Enterprise.
        The graphic on the computer screen <b>illustrates the refitted movie
        version of the Enterprise, rather than the original you might expect</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">... Or maybe the computer simply misread file A from location
B and mixed up the images? For this to be a contradiction, one would have to
demonstrate that even the most unlikely scenarios I could fabricate on the spot
were false. Can't do that, can you? Coincidentally, no one's ever been able to
demonstrate - to me - that Star Trek contains inconsistencies.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;When Dr. Crusher injects
        herself and Picard with the antidote, they should start to recover as
        quickly as Geordi, <b>but they don't</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Sheer genius! I guess all those patients who respond to
medical treatment differently &quot;should start to recover as quickly as&quot;
the rest. Boy, am I glad this guy's medical education is limited to fretting
about the booster shots he'll need before 4th grade. <img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15"></font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;For glaring starters, the
        use of current computer terms demonstrates the writers' eagerness to use
        current technical buzz words, but also reveals the fact that they failed
        to check to see if they were being used properly. As a programmer <b>you
        should instantly recognize the error in the scene</b> when Picard orders
        Riker and Data to '<b>download this information to Doctor Crusher</b>. .
        . .' Perhaps this gaff is why these terms are rarely used ever
        again.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Folks, remember - friends don't let friends ignore linguistic
context. This is exactly what happens when you stick to outdated 20th century
usages in lieu of the modern ones. Why, only a while ago a &quot;broad
band&quot; would be the opposite of a &quot;boy band&quot;. <img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15"></font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Lutan spoke of the
        Ligonian's <b>general reluctance to accept visitors</b>, and yet <b>somehow
        the Federation had compiled an exceptionally detailed description of the
        planet's culture and resources</b>. The alien culture was, by it own
        admission, not as technologically advanced as the Federation; yet they
        had a very sophisticated transporter system that could even elude the
        tracking of the Enterprise sensors. Then there's the hapless extra who
        caught the 'fist-o-spikes' glove in the stomach. In the close-up, his
        abdomen was clearly seen bleeding, <b>but when they carried him off,
        there wasn't a mark on him</b>. Also, in the final scene Riker orders La
        Forge to set course for Styris <i>Five</i>, and La Forge <b>acknowledges
        setting course for Styris Four</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">The first might only pose a problem if the Ligonian's accepted
no visitors at all, and even then, Starfleet Intelligence would still be able to
paste together a rather detailed report on the planet, as the CIA has done for
remote locales. As for the second - has this amateur Siskel and/or Ebert ever
heard of <a HREF="../../../www.ccdump.org/dermalreg.html">Dermal Regenerators</a>?
Had a doctor been there and healed his skin with such a device while the
unfortunate victim wasn't on screen, then vanished back from view with no
indication he was ever there, there'd be no problem.</font></p>
<p><font size="4">&quot;Fayev&quot;, by a strange linguistic coincidence, must
be the Styrian name for their planet, which in the Starfleet classification is
Styris 4. Both Riker and La Forge would have been correct.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;While on the planet,
        watch Deanna's arms. In the group shots, Deanna's arms are at her sides,
        while in the close-ups, <b>her arms are behind her back</b>.&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">While I'm as impressed as I could possibly be with the
author's arm fetish <img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15">, this
poses no problem, as people tend to move around a lot while under stress anyway.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;[When Yar and Yareena
        beam back to the ship], Dr. Crusher runs over to the transporter pad
        where Crusher gives Yareena two doses of the antidote that will help
        Yareena to live. But, when Crusher gives her the second spray of
        medicine in Yareena's right shoulder, <b>I noticed that Doctor Crusher
        was wearing a small white faced watch with a small leather band.</b>&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Dr. Crusher obviously needed to check the time to make sure it
wasn't too late to administer the antidote, and since she probably kept an
antique 20th century Timex watch in her pocket for just such a situation, she
put it on for the duration of the procedure.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;. . . all during the show
        they keep getting reports on how bad the plague on Styris IV is. But . .
        . the last scene of the show when they leave Ligon II with the vaccine <b>they
        set course for Styris IV at warp 3.</b>&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">The crew of the Enterprise would never be so careless, so
there must have been a temporary engineering problem, which they didn't mention,
that forced them to use a lower velocity while they fixed it.</font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;Lutan and Yareena had a
        mating agreement. When Yareena died and was resuscitated, <b>that bond
        was broken</b>. However, Lutan wanted Yareena <b>to die so he could
        inherit her wealth</b>. Why, when Yareena died, <b>did they conveniently
        enforce one law and break the other</b>?&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">This is only an apparent contradiction, and is different than
an actual contradiction. If our uninformed skeptic had even <i>bothered</i> to
obtain and read a copy of Ligonian post-mortem laws, he would have no doubt
found some loophole that prevented the other law from being enforced, such as
the fact she came back to life. On the other hand, he's amply demonstrated that
he's neither doctor or lawyer material by now. <img border="0" SRC="grin.gif" width="15" height="15"></font></p>
<div align="center">
  <center>
  <table border="1" width="616" height="59" bgcolor="#FFFF00">
    <tr>
      <td width="616" height="59"><font size="4">&quot;When LtCmdr. Data tells
        the joke during Lt. La Forge's 'shaving scene' he says, 'A man goes to
        the store to buy some kidneys. He says to the shopkeeper, &quot;<b>I'd</b>
        like a pound of kitilies please...&quot;' Data uses the contraction '<b>I'd</b>'.
        Then he says, 'The shop keeper says, &quot;You mean kidneys <b>don't</b>
        you?&quot;' Another contraction, '<b>don't</b>'. One could [also] argue
        that he uses a contraction when he says the punch line, 'Diddle I?'
        because he means '<b>didn't</b>'. Finally Data says, 'including the
        kitilies, <b>I've</b> told 662 jokes . . . ' Another contraction,
        'I've'. Four in one scene!&quot;</font></td>
    </tr>
  </table>
  </center>
</div>
<p><font size="4">Data was obviously repeating, verbatim, what he overheard on
the Intergalactic Tonight Show with Jay Lightyear. A tape recorder that
successfully relates &quot;I've&quot; can hardly be blamed if it can't reuse
that contraction intelligently in different sentences, can it?</font></p>
<p><font size="4">The last mention of &quot;I've&quot;, while at first
troubling, has at least two solutions (and don't get your hopes up, skeptics -
we have plenty more!). Either Data was mispronouncing &quot;I have&quot; as
&quot;I. Vvv&quot;, which is common in certain kooky dialects, or he was once
again repeating what he heard on the subspace airwaves.</font></p>
<hr>
<p><font size="4">There are many more alleged problems listed at the place I
found this article, but most of them hardly even warrant a response. Concerned
readers losing their sleep over any such problems can send them in via email,
and I'll address them as I did the preceding.</font></p>
<p><font size="4">And with this, the article ends. Needless to say, biased,
closed-minded skeptics claiming Star Trek is full of &quot;plot holes&quot; and
&quot;internal contradictions&quot; should watch the show and movies more
carefully, preferably with an open mind (the type that knows there are no
inconsistencies). If they'd only believe that, all these &quot;problems&quot;
could be easily reconciled, as I've shown with this response.</font></p>
<hr>
<font size="4"><!--webbot bot="HTMLMarkup" startspan alt="Site Meter" -->
<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript">var site="s12winace"</script>
<script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript1.2" SRC="../../../s12.sitemeter.com/js/counter.js@site=s12winace">
</script>
<noscript>
<a HREF="../../../s12.sitemeter.com/stats.asp@site=s12winace" target="_top">
</a>
</noscript>
<!-- Copyright (c)2002 Site Meter -->
<!--webbot bot="HTMLMarkup" endspan --></font> &nbsp;
<hr>
<ul>
  <li><font size="4">An attempted <b>'<a HREF="../../../tektonics.org/glennall04.html">rebuttal</a>'</b>
    to this parody <font color="#FF0000"><b>[Off-Site]</b></font></font></li>
  <li><font size="4">Back to the homepage of <a HREF="index.htm"><b>The
    Wonderful World of WinAce</b></a></font></li>
  <li><font size="4">Comment on this article and read already posted feedback at
    the <a HREF="../../../winace.hyperboards.com/index.htm"><b>Guestbook</b></a></font></li>
</ul>
<hr>

</body>

</html>
